Chapter Twenty

got lots of writing done!!! yay!!

Can't believe I could think that she would just follow me everywhere I go
I was wrestle with you in my dreams and wake up making love to a pillow

Ch. 20

“Lana’s Sunshine Bakery, how can I help ya?” I answered the phone, not sounding as chipper as I wanted to.  Maybe it had to do with being exhausted, or maybe it was the simple fact of not really feeling chipper.  Thanksgiving had come and gone and suddenly everyone was in the Christmas mood but me.  I was dreading it this year.  Despite finally finding a decent helper for the shop, I still felt overwhelmed with all the orders that were pouring in.  I’m sure it also didn’t help that I was feeling those lonely holiday blues.

Brooks called…a few days later to tell me that he was going to give it a go again with Carrie.  I couldn’t blame him for doing so.  In face, I would like to think that if I was with someone for 7 years, I wouldn’t just throw the relationship out the window, but that still left me single and miserable.

So, here I was; swamped, over-worked, and alone once more for the holidays.  There was definitely nothing to be jolly about in my mind.

“Do you make holiday cookies?” A thick female Russian accent filled my ear.

“I do,” I answered, unable to hide a small smile.  Is every Russian accent going to remind me of Alex?!

“I’d like to place an order for some and a few of your other pastries.”

“Okay,” I said, grabbing a pen and paper to take the order.  Soon it was all set up for her to pick them up tomorrow at 4:45pm, right before I closed for the weekend.  When I asked for her name, she just said Sasha, leading me to believe that everyone in Russia was either named or nick-named Sasha.

“I need you to stop by this place and pick-up the order I placed,” my mother said as I walked into the house.  I had just finished having a meeting with Coach Hunter and the rest of the Caps management.  Unfortunately it wasn’t a meeting about how well things were going, because we all knew how bad it truly was going.

“I’m not in the mood to go out and run errands right now,” I grumbled, flopping down on the couch.

“I don’t care.  I told the girl I would be there to pick them up at 4:45pm and it says she closes at 5pm, so you have to go now.”

I looked over at my mom and frowned.  She knew I was unable to say no to her.  I had too much respect for her.  So I held out my hand.  She slapped the business card in my hand and walked away.  I looked down at it.  On the back, in scribbled Russian it was written, “Make sure you bring home a date for dinner.”  When I flipped the card around, all I could do was close my eyes and drop my head back into the couch.

I heard the store bells jingle, but I was in the back finishing up a birthday cake that was going to be picked up on Monday morning.   I smiled to myself, thinking about how nice it was to have a helper at the store again because if it she wasn’t there, I would have had to stop what I was doing and go out and help the customer.  Instead I stayed put and finished dotting the “i” when I heard Tracey loudly say, “Sir!  You can’t just walk back there.  I have your order already out here!”

When I turned to see what was going on, Alex was already walking through the door of the kitchen.  He looked quite the ragged mess.  A backwards, red hat adorned his head and he was wearing a black Nike hoodie and a pair of plain grey sweatpants.  The winner was his footwear; a pair of Nike sandals and socks.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, feeling annoyed.  After not hearing from him since Halloween and seeing the picture he had tweeted of him and Maria a few weeks ago, I was fairly certain he had forgotten about me.

“Since when do you have such a bossy helper?” he asked at the same time.  We both froze and stood there looking at each other for a bit.  Of course, Alex was the first to speak again.  “My mother ordered a cookie tray from you…”

“It wouldn’t happen to be under the name, Sasha, would it?” I asked, trying to hide a smile.

A smile crept over Alex’s face as he nodded.  “Yes, it would.”

I nodded and laughed nervously.  He looked at me and smiled, but it was a tired, defeated smile.  I could tell that he wasn’t his normal self-assured person.  “So that was your mother I talked to?”

He shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned against the counter.  “Yeah, my parents are over from Russia.  She is making a big dinner tonight.”

“Oh I see,” I spoke quietly, turning my back towards him and making myself busy with the cake once more.

There was a long moment of silence in the room before Alex spoke again.  “Lana, you look good,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

I looked over at him and paused before saying, “I’d say the same to you, but honestly, you don’t look like your normal self.”

He left out an ironic laugh and shook his head.  “Life has been…how do you say it?  Hectic?”

I nodded my head.  “Ah, I see.”

“The girls say you aren’t playing your best hockey.”

“The girls are right.  But haven’t you been able to tell that for yourself?” he asked, suddenly taking a step towards my personal space, but I was trying my hardest to not notice.

“I probably could if I actually watched the games, but I’m not into hockey, remember?” I reminded him easily.

“Oh, right,” he said quietly.  “I want you to come meet my family, come to my house for dinner tonight,” he suddenly blurted, placing his hand on my upper arm, fully capturing my attention.  I took a breath but didn’t dare look at him.  “I don’t really think coming to your house for a family dinner is really on my list of exciting things to do at the moment.”

“It’s just me, my family and a couple of my friends…My mom wants to meet you.”

“What did you tell her about me?  That I’m the pathetic girl who fell in love with you or the girl who left you walk upstairs in nothing but your underwear after she stole your clothing?” I asked, unable to stop the tears of anger from boiling over.

Alex’s other hand cupped my cheek and forced me to look at him.  “She just knows you as girl who has finally made her son realize there is more to life than hockey, money, fast cars and girls.”

I looked at him and bit my lip.  The look in his eyes seemed sincere enough.  “You know, I meant what I said that night.”

Alex smiled and nodded his head.  “I know.”

“If I say yes to coming over tonight, it does not mean I am your girlfriend,” I continued slowly.

“Ah, but it does mean that I still have my way with you,” he joked.

“Will you ever be serious when it counts?” I laughed, wiping the tears from my eyes.

“If I’m not laughing, then I’m not myself.”  The pad of his thumb gently caressed my cheek, despite everything, I was still unable to keep myself from leaning into his hand.  “We will do things your way, Lana.”

“Slowly?” I asked, sounding like a scared child.

“If that is what you want, then yes.”

Seeing her again instantly made me ache and brought back all the memories I had tried to push away.  Like it or not, I had fallen for the southern girl and I knew I needed to step up big-time to prove to her that I was not leading her around this time.

I offered to follow her home and then take her to my house for dinner, but she said that she would be over at 6:30.  It wasn’t like I didn’t believe her, but I was slightly afraid she’d chicken out.

The doorbell didn’t even finish ringing when I opened the door.  Despite nervously biting her lip, her eyes were smiling as she handed me a bottle of wine.

“I couldn’t come over here without bringing something,” she said quietly as she stepped across the threshold.

Only Lana would go out of her way to bring something along.  I’m fairly sure she was right out of the Southern Hospitality Magazine.  “My mother will appreciate it,” I chuckled, before leaning down and kissing her on the cheek.  I heard her suck in a breath, but when I pulled back she was smiling broadly.

“You smell good,” she whispered when I took her coat.

“And you look delicious,” I said, licking my lips as I looked her up and down.  She was in a dark grey sweater dress and black tights.  Her hair was pulled back in a low pony-tail.  It was obvious she was dressed to impress.

“Well I’m just glad you have clothing on tonight,” she joked, poking me in the stomach before taking back the bottle of wine so that she could personally give it to my mother.

I took her by the arm and led her out to the kitchen where my mom was putting on the finishing touches of dinner.  She was scolding Sasha for tasting the gravy right out of the pot when we walked in.

“Ah, Lana!  I glad you’re here!” he exclaimed, quickly escaping my mother’s wrath.

“Hi, Sasha,” she blushed easily accepting a hug from my teammate.  As soon as he stepped away, my mother walked over to her and took Lana’s hands into her own.  It was how my mother greeted everyone for the first time.  I always believed as a child that she was a gypsy who was able to read minds when she touched you.  Lana didn’t act a bit nervous; instead she just smiled and said, “Hello, Mrs. Ovechkin, it’s wonderful to finally meet ya.”

My mother just smiled and then leaned in to kiss Lana on both cheeks.  “Nice to meet you my dear,” she said in broken English.  “I understand your English, but  I don’t speak well,” she warned Lana.

“It’s okay,” Lana smiled reassuringly.  “My Russian is terrible,” she giggled.

“Don’t worry, we will translate everything wrong!” Sasha piped up, causing everyone to laugh loudly.

Thus dinner started off on the right foot.

To no surprise, Alex had changed out of his sweats and was in something more fashionable, which included a tight fitting black shirt and a pair of jeans that accented what the girls called, hockey-butt.  When he leaned in to kiss me on the cheek, the scent of his freshly clean skin and cologne filled my nose.  Knowing how he easily took comments out of context, I shouldn’t have said anything about him smelling good, but it just kind of popped out.  He did smell good and I realized I had to be on my guard because my mind was quickly becoming fogged.

Alex’s mother and father were adorable.  They talked non-stop about their son, telling stories about his childhood and divulging secrets that he refused to translate.  Of course Semin had no problem translating when Alex wouldn’t, so nothing was left out.  Abe and his girlfriend were also present.  Although he was not as talkative as the rest of the group in the beginning, he soon was also joining in the conversations and also asking more questions about me.  He was a nice guy whose stand-off attitude towards me seemed to diminish with every passing moment.  By the end of the night, he made a comment about looking forward to spending more time with me.  I was fairly sure that while Abe seemed to come across as just a friend who liked basking in the limelight of Alex, he really did care for him in his own way and I was not about to judge that.  I was just glad to finally get to know him a little more than I had known him before.

Tonight, I had learned more about Alex in just a few hours than I had during the few weeks we had been “seeing each other.”

My cookies and pastries were of course the hit of the night.  Alex’s mom even made a comment about being positive my baking skills had more than one thing to do with winning over her son.  I only blushed and looked away from Alex, knowing he was staring right at me.

During dinner Alex seemed to perk up a bit.  Despite still looking tired, his smiles seemed to come easier.  What didn’t go unnoticed by me was the way Alex acted around his family and close friends.  He was the person I had enjoyed spending time with those times we spent making breakfast together and spent alone on our few dates.  There was no superstar act put on when he was in his home.  He was just Alex, the Alex I had become intrigued with.

“I think I’m going to head out,” I yawned, placing the last dish in the dishwasher.  Everyone had left already and Alex’s parents had already retired for the night.

“But it’s early,” Alex commented.

“And I was up even earlier,” I began to yawn again but instead squeaked when he suddenly picked me up and placed me on the kitchen counter, making sure he had my full attention.

“Did you have fun tonight?” He asked quietly, pushing a piece of my hair behind my ear.

“I did,” I smiled honestly, unable to keep my eyes from connecting with his.  They were always so such a hypnotizing blue.

“Are you glad you said yes?”

“I am,” I nodded.

“Can we start over now?” He asked like an excited child.

“One night does not fix everything, Alex,” I said slowly.

“I know this, Lana.  I have a lot of fixing to do…”

I couldn’t help but laugh at this statement.  I stopped laughing and then paused before saying what I want I had wanted to say earlier today.  “I don’t expect you to be an angel, Alex, but honestly, there are somethings you need to work on to make this work.”

“I realize this, Lana.”

I nodded and closed my eyes.  Before I could open them again, Alex’s lips were against mine, gently testing me.  I kissed him back, unable to turn him away.  I had missed him more than anyone would ever know.

Chapter Nineteen

Amazing how everyone jumped on the Brooks bandwagon so quickly... does no one have faith in Alex?!! LOL

Ch. 19

“Are you bringing Lana along tonight for the Movember event?”  I heard Carly ask as I walked out of the showers.  I turned to see if he was talking to me, almost as if it was a habit for me whenever Lana’s name was mentioned, but Brooks answered, which made me stop in my tracks.

“Yeah, I’m picking her up at 6:30, do you want me to just bring Faith along?” Brooks asked John, completely ignoring me despite the fact that I knew he had seen my reaction because he almost bumped into me when I came to a halt.

“Nah, I’ll pick up my girl.  I’m sure you won’t mind having some alone time with Lana anyway,” John chirped and waggled his eyebrows.

Brooks laugh and I couldn’t keep my mouth shut any longer.

“You cheating on Carrie?” I asked loudly.  A couple of the guys in the locker room stopped and looked up.

Brooks on the other hand didn’t stop, almost acting like he didn’t hear me.  “We broke up almost a month ago,” he answered in the even tone that always annoyed me when I was pissed off at him for something.

“So you move in on Lana right away?” I asked, even though I spoke it more like it was a statement.

“No moving had to be done.  Lana was there for me just like I have been there for her, so it’s been more of a progression of sorts.”

“I knew you had the hots for my girlfriend,” I snapped.

“Fairly sure you never treated her like your girlfriend,” he challenged, finally looking me in the eyes.

“Excuse me?!” I growled, feeling my temperature rise.

“You heard me,” Brooks answered before turning back to his locker.  His nonchalant demeanor was the flame igniter.  My temp hit boiling point and I lunged at him.  Jay Beagle and Hendricks quickly jumped in and pulled me back before I could land any punches.

“Get your fucking act together, Alex!” Brooks roared.  “Instead of worrying about me, start worrying about yourself and your fucking business here at the rink!”

“I’m the fucking Captain!” I yelled back.

“That’s right, you are, so start fucking acting like one!” somebody called out, only starting a slew of one-liners from several of the other guys in the locker room.  Some calling me out, some sticking up for me.  A minute later Hunter came in and called us all out.

“Are you sure I look okay?” I asked nervously as I looked down at my outfit.  This was my first time going to an event as a WAG and after hearing some of the war stories Faith and Becky had filled my head with in the last couple days, I was really feeling self-conscious.

In one breath Faith would say how nice the other women were, but in the next she was talking about how I was going to need to make sure I had the latest fashions, something I never worried about before.  Of course I was always keen on looking good, but getting out to the store every week was not on the top of my priority list.  I sighed and bit my lip.  Brooks had said the event was a casual event.  So I had decided a pair of dark jeans and a classic, black, turtle-neck, sweater with plain black boots was casual, yet chic.

“I’m fairly sure Brooks wouldn’t care if you showed up in a pair of your flannel jammy pants and one of your worn out rodeo t-shirts,” Becky giggled.  “You have that boy wrapped around your finger!”

“Whatever,” I shook my head and rolled my eyes.  “We are just good friends,” I defended for the hundredth time.

“No, I’m fairly sure Brooks sees it as more, Lana,” Faith interjected.  “I mean this is an event that the WAG’s are involved in.”

“Exactly,” I sighed.  “And that’s why I’m going along, so he doesn’t have to go stag.”

“But didn’t he go stag before when he was with Carrie?” Becky asked.

“Well that is different,” I mumbled, immediately chewing on my lip.  Anytime they brought up the “Brooks situation” I’d go into a nervous lock-down of sorts.  I never wanted to talk about it, for the simple fact that I wasn’t even sure how I felt about it.  If anything, it seemed we were both feeling out where we were going with things.  His relationship with Carrie had been long and involved, so jumping into something quickly didn’t really seem like the smart idea.  As for me, frankly, I was gun shy.  Obviously Brooks was nothing like Alex, but he was still a hockey player and I was still learning what that exactly meant.  It was nothing for people to come up to us while we were out for a walk or eating at a restaurant and ask him for his autograph.  Plus, don’t even get me started on the terrible looks I would get from women who thought that we were a couple.  This fact was another reason I was worried about the looming event.  How many looks would I get tonight and what kind of wrong ideas were people going to get?  What kind of wrong ideas am I going to get?

“No, pretty sure it’s not,” Becky pushed.

“He hasn’t even kissed me,” I announced, which caused Becky and Faith to stop in their tracks and stare with open mouths.

“What do you mean he hasn’t even kissed you?!  What do you two do when you’re downstairs in your room?!” Faith squeaked.

“Watch movies…” I said slowly and truthfully.

“Oh, my god, she’s telling the truth!” Faith scowled at Becky, who just shook her head slowly back and forth in disbelief.  “She is actually downstairs watching movies with him and not making out with that beautiful specimen.”

“Come on guys!” I cried.  “He just broke up with his girlfriend and I just…whatever with Alex, you can’t expect us to just both jump into something!”

“So you doooo like him that way!” they yelled together.

I bit my lip and tried to hide my smile, but it was useless.  “He’s really sweet.”

“And beautiful!” Becky swooned as she feigned fainting onto the lazyboy.

“But this just feels a little awkward…” I admitted.  “I mean with Alex and all…”

“Fuck Alex!” Faith practically screamed.

“Poor choice of words,” I mumbled, slapping my hand across my face, wishing I could get the last memory of us together out of my head for good.

Faith frowned for a second and continued on her rant.  “He really is just a big piece of poo who totally used you for whatever reason.  I too am still disheartened at the fact that I thought I saw something there between you, but now with all the facts in our basket, I have to conclude that he is just one hell of a smooth talker and player.”

I slowly nodded my head in agreement and sighed once again.  She was right.  All I could do was hope to get that one memory out of my head.  The memory of how he looked at me when he was above me as I laid on the hood of his car.  It was a raw look, a look that told me I was getting the real Alex, the one who wasn’t always as good at hiding his emotions as he thought he could.  The several times we had spent together I had seen that look more than once and I knew that it was special.  I was sure that there was a side to Alex that very few knew and I had been privileged to see it.  That was the only thing that was keeping the tiny sliver of hope alive in my mind and heart.  Of course I would never admit that to the two girls in front of me or even myself except during pure moments of insanity.

“Something troubles you my dear son,” my mother said quietly as we sat at my kitchen counter together.  She and my dad arrived this afternoon from Russia and were planning on staying thru the New Year.  I was glad they were here.  They always made me feel a little more grounded, plus I confided in my mother about everything.  She was the only person who knew the real me, the man who wasn’t always strong.

I shrugged my shoulder and placed my head in my hands.  “It’s long and complicated,” I answered in our native tongue.

“It’s a woman,” she said in a simple, knowing tone.

I peeked at her through my fingers and blinked.

“And it’s not Maria,” she continued.

I chuckled sadly, “No, it’s not Maria.”

“Then why do you play such games with Maria?  Playing house with her only confuses your heart.”

“Because Maria fits what I always pictured.”

“So what you are telling me is that you are finally ready to settle down, but because the girl you truly like is not the perfect paper doll, you settle for something less?  This does not sound like the things your Grandmother and I have taught you,” she scolded.

“But she’s American, Mother.”

“Is she a good girl?”

I laughed at this for a moment, picturing how perfect and innocent Lana really was.  “A good Southern Girl to be exact.”

“Do you love her?”

I knew the question was coming.  In fact I had rehearsed this answer a hundred times but it still came out wrong when I opened my mouth.  “Yes.”

“Then I do not understand your whimsical ways,” my mother grumbled, throwing her hands up at me before turning to walk away.  “Is this why you have been playing so terribly this season?!  Is it because of this girl?”

“Not all because of her…”

“Is it because you are finally seeing that you need love in your life to actually be satisfied with everything you have?”

I sat quietly for a moment and thought about it.  As simple as it sounded, it made a lot of sense.  Of course I would have never been able to see it myself.  Only my mother would be the one to point out the obvious.

“Seems you have some things to fix,” mom said quietly before wrapping an arm around me.  It made me jump because I didn’t even realize she had walked back over to me again.

“I don’t know where to start,” I breathed, holding my mother close to me.

“You will figure it out.  You are strong headed like me, so I know you will figure it out.”

“I knew I could count on you to be creative!” Brooks exclaimed with a broad smile when I showed him some of the items I had wrapped to put in his basket.  For the fundraiser, the guys were supposed to make up a basket with their favorite things along with other things they thought people might like.  The basket was then going to be raffled off to the highest bidder.  All the proceeds would go to supporting prostate cancer research.  He already had some cool things in it, including a signed jersey, signed puck, a pair of tickets to a game and a few of his favorite DVD’s but he said he wanted to add a couple other items.  He mentioned that the idea was for the basket to be from the hockey player and their significant other and it was decided that since I was going to be his date, I should also donate a few items.  So I wrapped up a few baked goods and put in a gift certificate for my bakery.  I also donated the large basket that held all the items and decorated it with the team’s colored ribbons.

“It won’t look like a blatant advertisement move?” I asked.

Brooks laughed and shook his head, looking at the basket sitting on the counter.  “No, in fact I’m thinking that once they taste those samples, they will be running into the bakery for more!”

I rolled my eyes and pushed at him playfully.  “Yeah, ooookaaaay,” I said sarcastically.

“Obviously you forget how much business you got just from our team,” he reminded me.

I shrugged my shoulders in defeat and nodded.  He really did have a point.

“So what should I be expecting tonight?” I asked quietly as I finished tying the cellophane around the basket.

Brooks leaned against the counter aside of me and stretched out his arms, cracking his fingers before speaking.  “Uh, nothing much.  It is more of a mingling thing with a speaker or two.  They said something about having some carnival games set up for us to participate in with playing the donors…they might enlist your help if you don’t mind…”

I looked over at him and smiled easily.  “No, of course I wouldn’t mind,” I reassured him before turning back to fluffing the bow.  As I was reaching to fold the one end of the ribbon, Brooks’ hand stopped me.  He threaded his fingers through mine gently pulled me over to him.  The sparks of anticipation threaded through my body as silence fell between us.  I couldn’t take my eyes off of his, allowing him to position me against him as his other hand rested at the small of my back.

“Lana…” he said hoarsely.  All I could do was nervously bite my lip.  Of course I had a feeling about what he was going to say next, but it still was nice to hear the words from him.  “I have really enjoyed the last several weeks getting to know you better…” he paused, also seeming a little nervous, “and I don’t want to rush things, but this all just feels right,” he continued, his hand now lightly caressing my cheek.

I nodded my head, like the bobble-head version of Flo on that creepy guy’s dashboard in the Progressive commercials.  There wasn’t much to say, especially since he was now leaning towards me.  I willingly lift my chin-up and awaited his lips to touch mine.  As expected, they were soft and undemanding.  Everything about this kiss was different from the last first kiss I had experienced with his teammate.  It wasn’t reckless or assuming, instead it was…just what one might consider your normal run of the mill first kiss and at the moment I was okay with that.  A slight shiver went up my spine when he pulled back with a small smile gracing his thin lips, which in turn caused me to mimic it.

We were just about ready to leave for the fundraiser when Brooks’ cell phone rang.  Sure, I could only hear one side of the conversation, but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who he was talking to.

“I think we’ve talked enough,” he chewed into the phone, dropping my hand so that he could pace my living room floor.  “No, it was your decision…You are where?!  Jesus, I’m…I’m just about ready to head to a fundraiser…”

He looked over at me with a look that I couldn’t quite decipher. It was a cross between, “I’m so sorry,” and “we might have a change of plans.”  I decided at this point to just head downstairs to my room and allow him some privacy to talk.  It was obvious tonight was not going to go as planned.

A few minutes later Brooks came down the steps and found me flipping through the TV channels.  “Hey,” he said quietly.

“Carrie?” I asked backed.

He nodded and frowned.  “She’s taking a cab over to my house as we speak.”

“So she’s here?”

“Yeah.”

“She’s here to fix things?”

“I guess,” he sighed, sitting on the edge of my bed.

I crawled over and placed my hand on his shoulder and squeezed it.  “Then go,” I said gently, not really sure what I was feeling at the moment.

“I meant what I said upstairs, Lana,” he said quickly, turning towards me.

“I know,” I said quietly.  “But sometimes life changes things,” I smiled sadly.  Once again my grandmother’s words easily came from my mouth.

“I’ll call you later,” he said in a questioning tone.

“Of course,” I nodded.

He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.  My first tear fell when I heard the front door close.  I can’t say I was crying about Brooks.  I’m fairly sure I was crying because I was fairly sure I had the worst luck ever when it came to relationships.

Chapter Eighteen

I'm back on the grid and back with a new Chapter.  I have to say that I had this chapter written out completely different the first time, but then I found myself writing this... so I don't know... can't say it's where I thought it would go, but some how my characters surprise me (although, by the look of some of your comments, they aren't surprising you, LOL)

So enjoy! And thanks for all the commentors... I'd love to thank you all by name, but since we have so many Anon's I'll just give a group thank you!! :o)

Ch. 18

“You are mad at me,” I commented to Brooks as he walked a few steps ahead of me.  We just finished practice.  Over the last week and a half, very few words were said between us.  It could have something to do with the fact that as a team we were playing like complete shit, but I had a feeling it had more to do with what had happened between Lana and me.  The practice after the Halloween party he slammed me hard into the boards and growled, “Get your head out of your ass, Captain.”  Since then, the only time he acknowledged me was during games and practice.  Of course, even then it wasn’t very pleasant.

Some of the other guys on the team were also treating me differently.   Alzner wasn’t as quick to joke around with me and Carly had started to act removed.  Sasha made his opinion known, but like the good friend he is, he let it drop after he said his piece.  Nicky and Green just stayed as neutral as Switzerland, which I’m sure it had to do with the fact that if they picked my side, they wouldn’t be able to feel comfortable eating Lana’s sweet treats.

Brooks looked at me and just shrugged.

“It has to do with Lana.”

He looked over at me and shrugged again.

“I’m seeing Maria…”  I began.

Brooks stopped at this and turned to me.  “Of course you are seeing Maria…” the sarcasm dripped from the tone of his voice.  “Well, that’s good because she’s the perfect Russian girlfriend.”

“We have a lot more in common than Lana and I,” I continued.  “I just don’t think things would work out with Lana and me.”  I said the words just like I had rehearsed them in my head ever since she left me to walk back upstairs in just my underwear.  It had been a little embarrassing to be left in such an awkward position at my own party.  Lana had definitely gotten the last say in that ordeal.

“That’s right.  It wouldn’t work out because she’s too good for you,” he spit.  “Ya know, she had questioned me at one time if it was a lost cause between the two of you and I told her no, because I thought she was actually the first woman you were interested who might actually be able to balance you out.”

I just kind of looked at him.  If it was one thing I learned over the last few years, when Brooks talks, you listen.

“I told her that despite being opposites, you were matched well for the simple fact that you need a strong, sincere woman who is going to put up with your craziness and be there when you want to leave it all behind.  I mean seriously, Alex.  She pours out her heart to you and instead of going and groveling, you decide to just go on about your life like she never existed.”

I shoved my hands in my pockets and stood there for a moment, knowing whatever I said was going to get me yelled at.  It was like dealing with my Grammy or Mother when I was in trouble for something.  “She not like the other girls…” I began.  Brooks snorted, shook his head and began walking away.  I quickly caught up with him and began pleading my case.  “She has no clue about my life.  I mean, she was learning, but it seemed like too much work,” I said, wishing it suddenly didn’t feel I like was pulling at thin strings of excuses.  “I like women who do what I want when I want.”

“A relationship isn’t a fucking dictatorship,” Brooks said simply.  “Plus, heaven forbid you actually get involved in something that needs a little work put into it.”

I shook my head at the blatant Russian remark and ignored the lazy comment before starting again.  “Besides, I just don’t think she is that strong woman you talk of.  I mean, she doesn’t seem overly comfortable with my status, she seems overwhelmed by it.”

“Wouldn’t you be at first?” he asked in a sarcastic tone.  “I mean seriously Alex, it’s not like she had a clue what she was getting into except for what she probably heard from her friends, but your pushy ways get you everything, so she probably didn’t have a chance to begin with.”

“You make me sound like a monster…”

“You are when you play with a good woman like that.”

“Then why don’t you date her?!”  I cried out of frustration.  I had heard enough about how much of a bad person I was.  Of course I wasn’t going to tell him how I truly felt about Lana.  How strong she truly was and how she opened my eyes to that during our time in my garage and how I dreamed about her almost every night and found myself wishing that it was her dark hair splayed across my pillow instead of Maria’s blonde hair. 

He opened his mouth to say something, closed it and then just stood there looking at me stupidly.  The silence was deafening and suddenly I found myself regretting the words.  “So you do like her.”

He stayed looking at me for a moment and then turned to walk away and jealousy suddenly pumped through my veins.

“You wouldn’t dare!” I called after him.

“You said yourself that you are dating Maria and that Lana doesn’t fit into your fantasy picture…” Brooks called back.

I stood there and stomped my foot like a spoiled child.  “This is bullshit!”

“Not my fault you’re such a dumb, blind asshole.”

“I wasn’t being serious!”

“I am.”

I hadn’t heard one word from Alex since the Halloween party, and in all honesty I wasn’t surprised nor disappointed.  I said what I wanted and I felt at peace with everything.  The one thing that did bother me was watching Alex playing hockey.  The team was doing horrible and Alex’s attitude didn’t seem to be helping things.

“This team is pissing me off!  I just don’t understand how they can play so shitty day in and day out!” Faith cried.  “I already told John there is no sex until he and the team can string together more than 2 wins in a row…”

I was standing in the kitchen making myself a cup of hot tea as she went on her rant.  Something told me that she had already broken that threat because he left the house this morning looking quite happy with himself.  “This is exactly why I don’t watch sports!” I sang loudly.  “How can you let something that is completely out of your hands make you so angry?!  It’s totally not worth it!” I continued.

“Oh shut it, Miss I Pout Every Time Someone I Like Gets Kicked off of Hells Kitchen!” Faith snapped.  “There is no difference.”

“I beg to differ…”

“You can beg and differ all you want, but it’s the same damn thing!” Becky added her own two cents before throwing the remote at the TV.  Luckily for us all, it did a nose dive into the carpet before any damage could be done.

“Is there a game even on?” I asked, finally looking at the TV to see Alex’s picture plastered on the TV with a headline under it that said, “Is the Captain the Real Problem?”  It was a very unflattering picture of him, but I still couldn’t help but look at it longer than I should have.

“No, thank God.  In fact, that’s probably a good point.  I should be happy tonight since they have no chance in losing if they aren’t playing tonight,” Becky laughed cynically.

I just shook my head and took a sip of my tea.  Both Becky and Faith sat on the edge of the couch with their chins in their hands, staring like zombies at the TV.  They didn’t flinch when the doorbell rang.  I looked down at my ratty PJ pants and pink fuzzy slippers and frowned.  I wasn’t really in the best of shape to answer the door, but it didn’t look like the other two were going to answer it, so I shuffled over to the door and opened it.

“Brooks!” I exclaimed, flinching as the cold air hit me.  “Come on in!” I smiled and stepped back.  His eyes sparkled when he smiled and nodded his head before moving into the house.  He was wrapped in what looked to be an expensive black leather coat, dark jeans, grey beanie and matching scarf.  His ice blue eyes sparkled even in the dim porch light.

“I’m sorry, I guess I should have called, but I was in the area and decided to stop in to say hi instead,” he said quickly, almost sounding a little nervous.

“If you don’t mind my frumpy attire, then it’s all good,” I giggled as I offered to take his coat from him.  I was definitely surprised by his drop in visit, but it didn’t feel awkward considering he had been texting me the last few weeks since the Halloween Party.  He had even called me a couple times when they were on their latest road trip.  Him and his girlfriend Carrie had broken up and with all the bad things going on with the team, I guess he found it easier to talk to me.  I can’t lie though; I began looking forward to his calls and texts.  After everything that happened with Alex, it was nice to have a drama free friendship with a guy, especially with a guy who was as good looking as Brooks.  Seeing him in person tonight however, reminded me how handsome he really was.

“Hey Brooks!” Faith called out from the living room. 

Becky almost fell off the couch when she turned to look over.  “Hi Brooks!” she squeaked, just catching herself before hitting the floor.

Thankfully both girls had seemed to get past their fan-girl tendencies; no doubt that had everything to do with Faith and Carly dating.

Brooks and I laughed before heading to the kitchen.  “Do you want anything to drink?  I was just making myself a cup of hot tea…” I said to Brooks.

“Rough day?” he asked, nodding that he would take a cup.

I sighed, stretching up to grab another mug from the cabinet.  “Yeah, I really need to find a new helper.  With the holiday stuff coming up quickly, I’m swamped.”

“Have you had anyone put in for the job?”

“I have, but no one that seems like they have any real promise.  Maybe I’m too picky, I don’t know,” I admitted, almost dumping the sugar can as I tried to grab a mug.

Brooks was there in no time, grabbing the mug and the can of sugar before a mess could ensue.  To do so, his body pressed up behind mine and he was soon in my personal space, causing my heart-rate to instantly spike.

“I always do that…” I said quietly.

“Ever think of rearranging your cabinets?” Brooks chuckled, taking a step back and holding the mug up in front of him, smiling.

“You are making fun of my height,” I frowned.

“I never said one thing about your height,” he defended with a wink.

I took the mug from his hand and filled it with hot water from my teapot.  “So what brings you here?” I asked, unable to hide my curiosity.

Brooks leaned up against the kitchen counter and watched me intently for a moment before answering.  “I was in the area and realized it had been a while since I saw you…” he said quietly.

I turned around, placed the teabag in the cup and handed the mug to him, unable to stop a small smile from coming across my face.  “I see.”

“Are you busy?” he asked in an amused tone.

I took a sip out of my own mug and shrugged my shoulders.  “I don’t know, I just got changed and was ready to head out to go clubbing…”

Brooks laughed easily.  “Yeah, you definitely look ready to hit the club.  The pink fuzzy slippers will have every guy pulling you onto the dance floor.”

“You don’t like my fuzzy slippers?!” I asked, feigning shock.

Somehow he wiped off his smile and put on a face that totally looked like a serious professor.  “I’m sure they’d look better if they didn’t clash with your red and black penguin pajama pants.”

As soon as I started laughing, Brooks’ smile came back and he was laughing too.

“I’m actually in the mood to rent a movie on Netflix if you’re interested,” I asked without much hesitation after I caught my breath.

“A nice quiet night is exactly what I was looking for,” he smiled gratefully.

A couple minutes later we were down in my room arguing over which movie we’d watch.  After picking Easy A; Brooks made himself comfy by kicking off his shoes and propping himself up with my pillows and patted the empty space next to him.

“This is the life!” Abe exclaimed as we took our normal perch to overlook the crowd at Opera.  “It has to be a sin to have this many women falling at our feet!”

I laughed out loud and wrapped my arm around a blonde minx, pulling her against me and kissing her roughly before pushing her away from me before Maria got back from the bathroom.  Abe was right.  This was the life, unfortunately though, life was not what it had been for me.  Life on the ice had quickly gone south, so far south that I was sure we were camping out somewhere near the South-Pole.  As Captain and the top rated player in the league, everyone was looking at me for answers.  The more questions they asked, the more I ran away from them by hiding in the night clubs.  Usually the tough patches came and went, but for some reason this time it seemed this tough patch was never going to end.  The discord in the locker room was at its worst and now Bruce was fired.  Tomorrow started a new regime in Washington.  Dale Hunter was now in charge and I knew things were only going to get worse, so tonight, I was out with Abe and Maria, looking for something to soothe my restlessness.

“Here ya go,” Maria purred, handing me another shot of Vodka.  I nodded my thanks before slinging it back, allowing the burn to take my breath away for a moment.  I slammed the shot glass on the tray of a passing bar-girl and sighed loudly.  Once again I went back to watching the dance floor and must have zoned out because I jumped when Maria whispered into my ear.  “You seem a million miles away, Sasha,” she said in our native tongue.  “Where are you my prince?”

I just shrugged and frowned.  She was right.  I was far away and I somehow needed to find my way back.